Cheater cheater, candy corn eater.*

Phew.  This return to blogging is going to take some adjustment.  I swear I have a ton of fun (read:  snarky) things to tell you!  I just picked a busy couple days to pick up where I left off.  

Luckily, the ever-funny Kelly over at Dare to be Domestic created a post not long ago playing the popular "get to know ya" questions game.  Ta-daaaa!  Daily entry saved!  Have at it.

1. What is your lucky number?

I'm goin' with 7.  Sure, lots of people claim 7 as their lucky number, but my birthday is July 7th... um, hello?  7/7, I win!

2. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Wow.  I wasn't aware that I'd be turning my blog into a job interview today.  Sneaky!

...ah, what the hell.  I can use the practice.  

*ahem*

Given the current state of the U.S. economy, I believe it's difficult, if not impossible, to look ahead more than 18 months.  I'd like to spend the next year and a half exploring the ways I can contribute to this company blog, using the time to grow my plans along with our its success. 

Psshhhh.  Hey suckers:  I was a public relations major for a reason, baby!  There's plenty more where that came from!  (Tuition dollars at work, darlings.  Also?  If you thought that was good, then you DEFINITELY need to read Bitter is the New Black by Jen Lancaster.)

3. What is your favorite song of all time?

Ooooh.  Of all time?  This one's tough.  I don't know that I have a favorite favorite!  Don't make me pick!  It's like Sophie's Choice up in here, except with music so it's for serious.  Can I go top three?

Wait.  Why am I asking?  It's my blog; I don't need permission!

"Falling for the First Time" by Barenaked Ladies.  BNL has been my favorite band for more than a decade, and this song just feels exactly like love!

"Lover, You Should've Come Over" by Jeff Buckley.  Breaks my heart, and yet makes me so happy, both at the same time.  Just a beautiful, bittersweet ache of a song.

"Not Ready to Make Nice" by the Dixie Chicks.  Political overtones aside, Natalie Maines is one ballsy chick.  I want her on my side.

4. Do you love football? Who's your team?

I... don't love football.  And given that J had a football scholarship to college, and that we live in Columbus, Ohio, home of the currently-ranked #2 team... well, let's just say that it's a damn good thing I love fall as much as I do, because otherwise?  It'd be a long, long season.

5. What's your most cherished item?

I thought of a few that could fit the bill here, and they were all photos.  What does that tell us!?  The best one, though, is the picture of J and me that my friend A snapped on a whim.  You can see it here.  I love it because it's just so... us.  Neither of us is wearing the "camera-ready smile" or sucking in our stomachs or saying cheeeeeeeeeeeese; we're just happy and totally in the moment together.

6. If you had 24 hours to live, how would you spend them?

I'd want a fantastic meal; tremendous, earth-shattering, soul-shaking sex; and the chance to say goodbye to my most cherished people.  Not necessarily in that order. 

7. Were you named after anyone?

Nope.  Well, not anyone we know and/or are related to.  But I spell my name the same way as the biblical Rachel (total trump card if I ever get to meet Rachael Ray)!  And my middle name is Leigh... which I choose to trace back to Vivien Leigh... and God knows she and I both have the flair for the melodrama... so I'm going to count it. 

I feel fairly certain that, had Scarlett had a Sassy Gay Friend, the curtain-dress could have been avoided.

8. What is your can't live without beauty product?

Oh my God.  Easiest question ever.  I'm a sucker for a gimmick anyway, but this L'Oreal Go 360 face wash?  IS FREAKING GENIUS!!  Pop the little scrubby out, splash splash, scrub scrub, mmmm smells gooooood, stash it back in the handy little holding place, see ya in 16 hours scrubby!!

So there we are.  Stay tuned for tomorrow's entry, in which our heroine takes on a pop culture phenomenon and totally blows your mind!

*Today's evidence of being rad:  there is candy corn in the house once again (yay fall!); I told J he was eating it wrong... and then demonstrated how to make a grill out of the yellow ends.  Sadly, I ate the masterpiece before it could be captured on film. 

When last we met our heroine...

"Welcome back from obscurity, Rach!"

"Why, thank you, Rach."

"So... been a while, huh?  What's been going on in your fabulous life?"

"Oh, man.  Where to begin?..."

It was never my intention to abandon the blog.  I just... got busy, is all.  

*snort*  

Fine, yeah, in that way, but also in the general sense that life and family and work and all those other important things started demanding more of my time and attention, and my writing took kind of a backseat.  I've been dabbling here and there (like the fiction I write every month when I pay bills, HEY-OHHHH!!), but simply haven't had the time for a dedicated daily post.

To quote an obscure bit from an old Sinbad stand-up routine:  "some things got to CHANGE around here!!"

"I can't wait to meet him!  I hope he's wearing something made out of windbreaker!"

Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, 
"Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life"

There have been a ton of highlights in the last six months!  There's been a low point or two, to be fair, but on the whole it's been a terrific year and I'm looking forward to recapping it here for posterity.  I'll cover the important stuff in bits and pieces in future posts.  

FIrst things first, though:  I've decided to come back to the writing to help keep my sanity intact, to stay in practice... and to keep sharp the skills I'm going to need in my next big adventure!  A busy six months in the totally unglamorous world of higher education has led me to a pretty big self-discovery.  

Y'all, I finally know what I want to be when I grow up!  

I've decided to go back to school to get my teaching license for middle school language arts.

I love academic advising.  Telling people what to do?  Huh; let me think ab- OKAY YES I CAN DO THAT.  However, after three different roles at as many universities, I can safely say that a career at the university level is not for me.  I loved college, as many of us did, for the experience that it was:  learning, sure, but also the 1 a.m. mud-sliding on the quad, the genesis of many a TV-and-takeout tradition and the silly Sunday morning "reconstruction" conversations that helped us figure out just what we had done the night before... 


...and that's why I can't work in the field.  I loved my Miami days so much!  The very last thing I want is for those memories to become overshadowed by administrative red tape and interoffice politics. 

More to the point, though:  I love the English language.  Sure, I take some liberties with it here and there when it’s acceptable –- Facebook status updates are so much easier to type in all lowercase –- but I cannot abide the pandemic abuse of grammar, spelling, pronunciation and structure.

It murders my soul, people.  

And that brings me to today's guilty pleasure -- it is Wednesday, after all!

For a while now, I've been posting pictures of egregious, public mistakes in a Facebook photo album, complete with snarky commentary.  It's been a hit with my friends and even has led one of them to brand me as her Grammar Girl (a responsibility I do not take lightly).  I've resorted to carrying a red Sharpie in my purse:  woe to the person careless with his syntax!

I will cut you. 

The other thing I'm going to relish about teaching?  Sure, I get to tell people what to do for a living now, but just imagine the power I'll be able to wield once I've got a classroom full of little monsters!  

Yep.  Me and Lady Gaga:  we've got big plans for the future of America's youth.