The wearin' o' the green!

Top o' the marrrrnin' to ye, kids!

How lovely and convenient that St. Patrick's Day falls on a Wednesday... perfect timing for some guilty pleasures, eh?

Green Beer Day is right up there with my all-time favorite and most shameless indulgences!  I still have the t-shirts from my four years of participation... and I'm seriously considering the J.Brew one as an "alumni contribution" to one of Oxford's grandest traditions.  Mock our popped collars, our North Face jackets and our SUVs all you want; our nickname's famous and we're not mad about it.

The word shenanigans is another good one.  It's one of my favorite words and today is a perfect day to use it with abandon!  Surprisingly, the origin of the word is uncertain; it may be related to the Irish sionnach ("fox") but it's also been tied to German and even Spanish roots.  

Whatever.  The source doesn't much matter to me; what's really important is that when J and I use it, it means something fun and funny and possibly a tiny bit irresponsible is afoot!  

Plus it's in one of the funniest bits of movie dialogue ever:

"I swear to God I'm going to pistol whip the next guy who says shenanigans."
"Hey Farva - what's the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?"
"You mean Shenanigans?"
"Oooooooooooh...!!"

- Captain O'Hagan, Mac, Farva & Thorny (Brian Cox, Steve Lemme, Kevin Heffernan & Jay Chandrasekhar), Super Troopers

 

Today's greatest guilty pleasure, however, may well be this beloved cult classic:

 

 

Behold:  the elusive SHAMROCK SHAKE!  

 

What is it about this beverage/dessert/frosty nirvana that makes it so irresistible?  

 

Is it the hint o' mint flavor?  The awesome color?  The fact that it's only available for a few short weeks and only "at participating locations?"  All of the above?!  Hard to say... all I know is that I have about twelve hours left to get me some!

Happy St. Patty's to all of you! 

"Huh. Surprised you didn't know that."*

If you've got a Facebook page or a MySpace account, you've encountered the meme floating out there on the interwebs that asks you to catalog 25 things about yourself that people may not know.  I wasn't going to resort to this, but I see that a few other bloggers have already done it, so I figured eh... what the hell.  Problem is, I'm a) a little strapped for time, 2) wary of boring the handful of readers I have and d) lazy,** so I'm only going to list half of them today. 

Without further ado... all kinds of crap about me!

1.  I am totally a city girl.  I love the charm of small towns; I went to college in one and I can't imagine having had it any other way... but I love the bustle and noise and crowds of a big city.  It's what keeps me from getting too homesick, now that I live in my fair state's capital.  I love driving out of the city, seeing the skyline in my rearview mirror and being able to pick out the individual buildings.

2.  As much as I love the 'bus, though, I love my 'Rowdy hometown.  No, I mean, I love it.  It is frequently misrepresented and misunderstood, but then again, most great things are.  You just need the right tour guide to get a true sense of the place.  Are you a Cleveland Cavs fan... or a basketball fan in general... or alive at all?  You may have heard of a guy named LeBron James.  Yeah:  dude went to high school four miles down the street from me.  Are those Goodyear tires on your car?  Hello, WORLD HEADQUARTERS.  It was a terrific place to grow up and I'm proud to come from there.

3.  One of the most refreshing things about moving here has been the fact that I'm starting with a clean slate.  I have friends here, and of course J's here, but other than that, very few people know my backstory... with the result that I have the remarkable opportunity to start fresh in my 30s.

4. J and I have known each other for just about our entire lives. His mom's family lived down the street from my dad's family when they were little; his dad and my uncle have been BFFs since grade school. It took us three decades to get together as a couple, though, and it was 100% worth the wait. On our first date, we were all chatty and catch-uppy, and when I got up to go to the ladies' room, the bartender smiled at J and said "so, second date's going well, huh?"  So cute.

5.  My sister and I are incapable of having a conversation without using lines of movie dialogue.  It's a sickness, really, but it's hilarious. 

6.  Speaking of her, I just recently (like, this week), admitted that I'm getting old, when I made a couple references to some old cartoons and she had no memory of them whatsoever.  I mean, sure, it was old when I saw it for the first time, but GOD, please tell me someone else out there has seen and/or remembers this!

7.  And speaking of old, I'm also the oldest grandchild on both sides of our family.  I got to do everything first until I was 24, when one of the cousins got married.  Others soon followed suit, and now I love that I'm one of the last holdouts!

8.  Red is my favorite color to wear.  I think it's partially due to my loyalty to Miami, but it's also because it takes balls to wear and the effect on people is terrific.  It could be a dress, shoes, lipstick... people want to be around a woman in red.

9.  I want Rachel McAdams to play me in the movie about my life.  She's got the name thing down and she.  Is.  Darling.

Cute much?!

10.  Given that I've worked for three universities, and that I've enjoyed those three jobs more than anything else I've done with my career, I have no choice but to concede to my mom's long-held opinion that I'm an educator at heart and I belong in this field.  I'm not about to make crazy money, but I need a cause, not just a job. 

11.   One of my favorite things to do with J and our friends is game night.  Apples to Apples, UNO, The Game of Things, whatever... it's like being a kid, but with beer this time!

12.  I have a ridiculous gift for remembering names.  It was a huge advantage when I was a recruiter; I'd meet a student once and then be able to address them by name four months later.  It got to be a running joke in the office and my colleagues started calling me Rain Man (except, you know, in a nice way).

13.  I love dogs, and cats are a close second, but the way I see it?  If I'm going to put that kind of time and energy and attention and cash into another living creature, it's going to be a kid.  It's one of the first things J and I agreed on:  we like impromptu happy hour and sleeping in wayyyyyyy more than we like picking up poop that's not our own. 

That's enough for now!  A future post will have the other half of the list. 



*Tommy Callahan (Chris Farley), Tommy Boy
**"A..., 2..., and D..." is from Home Alone***

***See?!

You can take the girl out of Catholic school...

Heh.  Bet that got your attention.  

Here's the thing:  I love to bake.  What's not to love, really?  It's soothing and gratifying and makes the house smell great, and you can eat it. 

The problem is that I'm not that big into eating the results.  I don't really have a sweet tooth; a pint of Ben & Jerry's will last me a month.  (Salt is another story.)  And with baking, you can't ever make just one cupcake or cookie or brownie... you end up with a whole mess of them.  Given that one of my posts last week was all about healthy eating, I should probably practice what I preach. 

But the lure of those cutie pie Cookie Monster cupcakes from earlier in the week was just too much to resist!  

So I did a little research and found an outlet for my Betty Crocker urges.  The Catholic parish I belong to here in the 'bus hosts Friday night fish fry dinners during Lent, and they're always looking for donations in the form of dessert.

ENTER RACHEL!  Check me out:

They don't look exactly like the other pic (that's right: they're cuter) but I was still pretty satisfied with how they turned out.  J wasn't complaining, that's for damn sure!  My sister Erin even said "ugh, you kind of make me want to barf, in a good way."  I could have stopped there, but I was on a roll, and I upped the ante with a batch of red velvet cupcakes too.

I drove extra carefully on the way to work this morning, so as not to disturb the trays of sugar shock in my backseat, planning on a lunch hour delivery.  

And I made it all the way to the church parking lot before it happened. 

I didn't see the pothole, and I took the turn a little too fast, and my little tank came to a stop faster than I intended... and a dozen cupcakes ended up on my car floor.  Frosting side down, natch.  I heard the smush before I saw the damage, and I shouted - no, I shrieked:

Ohhhhhhhhh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge. 

Only I didn't say fudge.  I said the word, the big one, the queen mother of dirty words, the f-dash-dash-dash word.*

And that is precisely when I realized that the church shares its parking lot with the parish school, and that it was noon recess, and that approximately ninety grade school kids were outside romping around in the sunshine.

Boy, nothing brings a game of Red Rover to a halt like a woman yelling obscenities.



*Ralphie (Peter Billingsley), A Christmas Story

A slightly un-American post.

I kind of hate the Olympics.

I mean, sure:  Rah rah!  U.S.A!  America, F*** Yeah!  

But also:  quit hogging my TV, dude.

I know part of it is that I'm just sick to death of the snow.  Sorry athletes, but I am just completely. burnt. out. on winter right now.  Come back in four years.  (Heh.) 

Ironic, isn't it, that February is the shortest month, and yet somehow these 16 days feel like an eternity?  I can't remember the last time I turned on the TV and wasn't blinded by the glare of sun on snow... or is it the strobe light-like effect of a zillion camera flashes aimed at Johnny Weir's costume?

Then there's pairs figure skating.  I caught some of it over the weekend and I swear to you, at least one person in every. last. couple. TOTALLY BIT IT.  

Can you imagine?  Train your ass off, fall a whole lot, skate skate skate, sweat sweat sweat, skate some more, fall some more, skate AGAIN... and then your D.B. (Sweeney!) partner falls?

HELL no.  He'd be staring down the barrel of a tantrum of epic proportions.  The whole world just watched you biff it for me... it's going to be a long flight home, sweetie.

 

"I swear, you let me down and it'll take them a month to count the blade marks up your back." 

(FYI, that's one of my favorite movies.  "Yes, Doug can read."  Classic snark!)

Really, I think I just have a hard time getting all fired up over how fast people can slide down a hill on their stomachs in this kind of weather ON PURPOSE.  Sure, those guys do it and it's monumental!  Hooray!  Here's a medal! 

 

But then I do it, and people think I'm drunk again.

Hrmph.  

P.S. don't report me as a terror threat.  And for the love of relationship harmony, please don't tell J.  Actually that's probably more important.

 *EDITED TO ADD:  I must admit to a slight weird crush-like fascination with Shaun White.  That dude just looks... snuggly.

A Day in the Life of Love.

That's the tagline for the movie Valentine's Day, opening tomorrow.  

Good, isn't it.  Makes me wish I'd thought of it.

Anyway.  The weekend is upon us:  time for roses and heart-shaped EVERYTHINGS and champagne (who are we kidding, it's always time for that).  Also time for the inevitable whining and complaining and bitter diatribes from the recently dumped and the perpetually single.

I have a friend who always says that she won the husband lottery; I LOVE that metaphor!  I have totally won the lottery with J - he's the best valentine ever.  But that's not the point.  I have loved this holiday for as long as I can remember, and not because of a boyfriend or a Whitman's Sampler or a big ol' carnival-style white teddy bear.  I didn't really start dating till I hit college (although that didn't stop me from going to four senior proms, HEY-OHHHH!) so it's not like I'm building my perceptions of the day on a game of M.A.S.H.  

The thing is, if you're lucky enough to have love in your life, celebrate it.  It could be your parents.  Or your "significant other."  Or your best friend.  Or your dog, for God's sake.  The shape it takes isn't important.  What is important is that you know what it is to care about another creature, and that you get that same in return.   

Yes, in a perfect world, we'd all celebrate it every day, and we wouldn't need a day set aside to remind us to appreciate what we have.  Absolutely.  No argument here.

But how nice that the day does exist.  I don't know about you, but when J is playing video games until two in the morning for the fourth time in a week, a little reminder that I love the guy doesn't hurt. 

This Valentine's Day, ignore the ones who gnash their teeth and rail against the "Hallmark holiday"... and delight in the fact that you know what it is to love. 

"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships.  There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back.  But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. 

"And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous."

- Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker), Sex and the City

 

mmmm...Sampler.

P.S.  A very special birthday wish to one of the stars of Valentine's Day:  Taylor Lautner turned 18 today, which means I am no longer a creeper, I'm just a cougar.  Meeee-yow, bitches!

Neverending Story III: Rachel vs. the Baby

Remember this little nugget?

Falcor:  I like children.

Atreyu:  ...for breakfast??

Falcor:  BWAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA

Mmmmm... tastes like chicken.

The world welcomed another little peanut yesterday morning:  new little baby cousin L is finally here, almost two weeks late to his own birth and weighing in at ten-plus pounds.  Aw!!  Just like his cousin Rachel... almost 32 whole years ago.  (Seriously kid, I'm the oldest of the grandchildren.  I am the original "been there, done that" in this family.)

Just kidding (well, sort of).  He is, of course, amazing!  So sweet and cuddly-looking and with tons of personality already; not that I expected anything less.  I won't get to see him till this weekend, but you better believe I have a bunch of fun little baby gifts all lined up already; this one is my favorite.  Also briefly considered this one one for my aunt and uncle, until I realized they are way too mature for such a gift.  

I might get it for myself, though.  Can't hurt to be prepared. 

I've entered that life phase now where bachelorette parties and drunk dials have been replaced with baby showers and calls home to the sitter.  Tons of my friends have kids already, and the ones that don't are starting to think about it.  If you're one of them:  congratulations (and for the love of God, don't ever use the phrase "we're trying" in conversation with me)!

I looooooove being Aunt Rach to my girlfriends' babies and Fun Cousin Rach to the family munchkins.  Perfect example:  A has a 15-month-old daughter who is a RIOT.  Before I moved, one of my absolute favorite things to do was to fake a sick day to have a playdate with the two of them.  Yes, really!  We'd spend a few hours playing with her toys and reading books, and when Little C crashed for a nap, A and I would park ourselves on her big squashy couch to catch up over lunchtime martinis and terrible daytime TV.  (A is also the founder of our fabulous book club, which is a future blog entry in itself.  Just writing this makes me miss her!)

But I also love going home afterward, mixing a Bloody Mary and eating a balanced dinner of Cheez-Its and gummi worms. 

Plus, I think I should probably get married first.  Call me a traditionalist, but somehow I think my Irish/German Catholic grandmas would frown on a white dress if I provided my own ring bearer. 

There's the actual pregnancy and labor to consider.  Sure, TV and movies dramatize it, but if it weren't really going to include growling like a wild animal, they probably wouldn't call it childbearing.  

And then we have the genetic wild cards I'm going to be holding.  I'm not exactly an Amazon, but I'm tallish for a girl, and J, God love him, is a wee bit on the furry side.  Cute as we both may be, there is a distinct possibility that we could end up with a sasquatch for a child.  

 

"Mamaaa!!"

Honestly, I'm a tad relieved that there's a new baby in the family... takes any heat off my sister and me.  I'll get there eventually, but for now I'm perfectly content to be the aunt that Mommy and Daddy warn their kids about.  

"Aunt Rachel was kidding when she said you were adopted...

and for God's sake, don't drink out of her 'water bottle.'"